Sunday noitcelfeR

 

This week our pastor announced she was leaving next month. I am crushed.

I've been without spiritual leadership for almost 30 years, ever since Jack went into pastoral ministry. That's not to say he wasn't a good pastor; it's just that a pastor's wife is in ministry along with her husband, and they both need to find spiritual pastoral resources of their own. I never found mine.

I had plenty of spiritual resources. Youth ministry is its own rejuvenating source when the focus is on God more than pickleball or pizza.

Once we left pastoral ministry, though, we returned to a pastoral drought. We were part of the praise band, so worship was fulfilling every week. Just no pastoral care for us. Even through my cancer and double mastectomy, not even a phone call. In the church's 100-year anniversary celebration, Jack wasn't even listed as one of the many congregants who had gone on to ministry, although two who were not members were listed--one of whom never served.

Pastor Jisun was the first pastor to visit us and talk to us in 30 years. She drew me back on track with spiritual intuitiveness, brilliant exegesis, and a warm and loving grace. I can only suppose, with a degree of certainty, that she is called elsewhere because someone needs her more than I do. But I am no less heartbroken at her leaving.

Someone once described a spiritual path as walking in darkness in a lightning storm. Every so often, a flash of lightning will show you what's around you, and how to get back on the path if you've gone off track.

I need a flash of lightning again.